I suck, and in less than 30 days you can too!

Sucking has been around for a long time, that much is for sure.  When sucking began and who was the first person to suck is another matter.  One could say that G/god is the master of suck, since he who created everything, must have created sucking.  Does that mean he sucks?  Not necessarily, but if fifth grade taught me anything its that it takes one to know one.  Or in biblical terms, "if thou are to bestow thy temperment upon thee, then surely thou mustou declarou thyself thou same."  

So now that we have established that G/god does, in fact, suck, we can move on to more pressing issues; issues like:  "Why does G/god suck so much?"  "If he's G/god, then couldn't he unsuck himself?" or the always controversial "Is my own sucking a result of G/god wanting to make himself feel better because he sucks so much by making everyone else suck too?"  We may never know the answer to these questions.  Now I am sure there are some people out there that are like "What?  You can't say G/god sucks!"  But to say that would say that G/god is not all powerful and did not create everything.  Who created sucking then?  Some higher power greater than G/god?  That would be blasphemous!  So either G/god sucks or you don't believe in him.  Now what?  

I started a new paragraph here to keep you reading since your mind probably just got blown and/or sucked.  We've been doing a lot of suck talk and I'd like to switch to a more mature topic and discuss the issue of the modern media's effect upon youth.  What?  Did you think I was going to put some stupid topic up there and capatilize on my placing of the word "mature" to give an ironic contrast to garner a possible chuckle out of a possible reader?

Nope, I put a serious topic up there so I could berate you for thinking I would be funny and write an explanation of my intent to fool you into thinking I would do that.  So now you are probably thinking "this whole paragraph is just one big explanation for itself?"  Honestly, I don't know anymore, its all gone.  Either way, you just got fucked.  But probably not...I think its funny how a lot of people can hear something really mean but then be distracted really easily by something totally ridiculous by the person being mean.  Like this one time I saw a guy being mean to this one chick and I was all like, "hey, dont be mean" and he was like "oh". so yeah, that never happened...but if it did that might be a cool story to tell someone to distract them from the fact that I just told you that you suck.  See, like that, while talking about something I was in fact doing it...but I'm sure you caught that too...see, you don't suck that bad!  But you will...oh man will you suck...